A Note for Readers

Please read this first:

“This work is a memoir. It reflects the author’s present recollections of his experiences over a period of 5 years. Certain names, locations, and identifying characteristics have been changed. Dialogue and events have been recreated from memory and, in some cases, have been compressed to convey the substance of what was said or what occurred. This is how he remembers what happened.”

Everything you read in this memoir blog is a rough draft with little to no revision. It is littered with grammatical and spelling errors. I have almost rewritten the entire story, but unfortunately, the finished version won’t be posted on here. Determining if I find a wanting publisher house, or not—where I’d self-publish—will establish whether it will be in stores or not; however, it will positively be available for sale online via Amazon.

As of now, the story is finished, though I am still working with personal editors, and I am in the process of querying literary agents to represent myself and to assist with the publishing process.

Thanks for reading and following!

My story isn’t rare but it’s true. It is a gripping and emotional tale of how I came to be an addict, my life as an addict, and my everlasting recovery, while also discovering answers to some of life’s universal questions.

It can be graphic at times—readers beware.

I put this out as a blog—even though it is not written as a true blog—because I wanted a way to get my story out there, available for anyone who needs it. I have it out on Wattpad and Writer’s Outlet but could only get readers from people already linked to those sights, making it harder for the story to grow. Thus, I figured the blog format to be more efficient, and it was and still suffices.

I also felt compelled to write this for several reasons. First, to keep people more aware of addiction and having them become more knowledgeable and informed of its negative effects and deadly outcomes. Next, I had told my story to different select groups, therapists, counselors, and friends, whom all said I should write a book. I had wanted always to but invariably, was on the fence about it, solely because I didn’t have a “nice enough” ending. Now, I’m not going to tell what happened, but I will say the urge to write it down on paper had grown immensely. I also could not let the last 11 painful years of my life become a complete waste, I had to make something positive come out of them. And lastly, for my loved ones who are no longer with us. They, unfortunately had passed, allowing me, the asshole who deserved death more than anyone, to still be alive today. I can only believe that reason is to share my story with the world, having the intention of  helping other addicts and alcoholics, in or out of recovery. That is what I hope for at least.

This is my story of what happened, how it happened, and how, after many relapses, I ultimately found redemption.

*I want to make it clear that this was the way I felt in those years and is not the way I feel today. It seems that I blame other people for my addiction, which I did back then, but I do not today. I know that everything was my fault.

Order to read:

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A Life lost

School Daze

Drinking in class

What Hell is Like

A New Life Found

Paper clips n Fiona Apple

Owen in rehab

Dark Side of the Spoon

Sober Living

How Near how far

A difficult dilemma

Love Lapse

First Taste

A New Year

Movie Store Coke

Femme Fatale

Femme Fatale pt 2

A New High

My dopesick love/Cocaine Overkill

A Bitter Backtrack

A familiar face

My Maisie



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