My Phone Made Me Do It…

I need to keep a real blog going so I will be posting more often about different things, all relative to the memoir and my current life.

I don’t know about you, but, I am constantly on my phone. I have become acclimated and reliant on it, that my hands have become stuck in the position of holding it. When I shake it away, they still go back to that position. My eyes had even suffered to the point of making me have to buy glasses with a blue light filter.

I remember when I had badly wanted a laptop so I could start writing my memoirs. Once I had saved enough money, I hauled ass straight to Best Buy—even though there was a cheaper computer of the same model I had wanted on Amazon, but I wasn’t about to wait another week or so for it. C’mon, I used to shoot heroin, I need instant gratification, dammit!

And so I came home with my new Chromebook, which I had not realized how limited it was, and started typing. Despite its flaws and limitations, it still had a word processor which was all I had wanted.

A week later, it collects dust on my bedside table. I wonder who else has typed an entire book from their phone?

My thumbs have become beasts. Caged Animals. Massive criminals locked-up, making the shrimpy keyboard their bitch.

If I’m not writing with it, I’m either on social media, listening to music, reading, or playing a game. I’ve become so dependent on this tiny box, it’s ridiculous. I thought I had conquered my codependency. I didn’t think about impermanence and how everything comes in waves. My codependency has come back. My phone and I are tying the knot next week.

I know it’s not only me who’s addicted to their phone. There’s a little codependency in all of us.

Many people live codependent lives and don’t even know it. With advances in technology, where everybody has a phone and the internet in the palm of their hands, nearly everyone is or has experienced codependent signs.

PsychCentral.com reports that “Researchers have revealed that the characteristics of codependents are much more prevalent in the general population than had been imagined.”

Welcome to the United States of Codependency. 

Have you texted or called a significant other or a friend and had to wait a long time for them to text you back? Where your thoughts racing about why they haven’t responded yet? Who hasn’t?

This doesn’t necessarily mean you are a codependent person; however, it does show that we as humans are on the verge of being obsessed and having feelings of needing another person. I see it all the time — I’m also guilty of it — when people are constantly checking their phones. This can become dangerous to our relationships and to ourselves.

A lot of times I see people on their phones when they’re in the middle of a conversation with someone right next to them — usually that person is on their phone, too.

“But what if you’re by yourself, it’s not bad to be on your phone, is it?

Not necessarily, but it can be if you’re sitting there ignoring something right in front of you because you’re anticipating a call or text. I used to do this a lot, but now I have to put my phone on Airplane Mode if I’m going to write or read.

This is merely something to be mindful of and try to stop when you catch yourself doing it. It can lead to an awful addiction.

Something to think about: This new habit of invariably checking or being on our phones is new to us. We are all guinea pigs. We don’t know what this could do to us all in the long run. So far, we have only found out that, although rare, cell phone radiation can cause cancer. Just like in the long run with cigarettes we found out smoking can lead to cancer. Who knows what this new habit could lead to? Something to be aware of.

If you start experiencing feelings of rejection, being unloved, the need to people-please, giving without reciprocation, blaming yourself for others’ faults, or having a low self-esteem, these are effects of codependency, so please get help soon.

Don’t be me.

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